Posts tagged awesome

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This individual received a box of 16mm and 35mm prints of various titles. One of which being the beautiful trainwreck that is Manos: The Hands of Fate. The original owners attempted to auction off the box of prints on eBay with no success. But now, the new owner quite possibly owns the best copy of Manos ever known.

Fun story. Gives a bit of background about the production of the movie (including why every frame looks like someone’s last-known photograph, to quote Mystery Science Theater 3000) as well as the owner’s project to release Manos on Blu-Ray.

Pictured above:
Top image: The workprint of Manos, including an alternative title never used.
Bottom left: DVD version of the movie
Bottom right: workprint image of the very scene


(Source: forums.somethingawful.com)

Filed under terrible movie movie 16mm 35mm fun story story manos the hands of fate manos: the hands of fate manos torgo! crazy crazy story awesome awesome story dvd blu-ray mystery science theater 3000 mst3k

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Learn to Fight Zombies at Real-Life Zombie Boot Camp

Awesome…just, awesome.

Zombie Boot Camp, a recently inaugurated one-day training course, promises to teach people specialized zombie-fighting skills for only 90$.

Whether you’re one of those crazy folks who believes a zombie apocalypse is imminent, or just a big fan of zombie culture, Zombie Boot Camp sounds like the perfect experience for you. The unusual training course taking place in the UK’s  Droitwich, Worchestershire, sees would-be zombie hunters take part in specialized training exercises with experienced military instructors, before putting on special armor and taking on a group of brain-eating zombies to prove they’ve mastered the skills necessary to survive during a zombie crisis.

A day at Zombie Boot Camp starts with equipment and weapons training. Zombie-killing trainees have to put on a standard-issue Kevlar body armor, jacket and pants, and pay close attention to a team of veterans, as they demonstrate how to handle a specially-adapted pistol, assault rifle, grenades and chainsaw. Then they’re drilled in how to clear a room of flesh-craving zombies, before…lunch.

Filed under zombie boot camp zombie boot camp zombies awesome christmas idea

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10 Gifts For People Who Sit In Front Of a Computer All Day

Two of my favorites:

Spam email wallpaper
If you are looking for a truly unique gift for an office dweller, how about offering to redecorate with Spamghetto’s spam email wallpaper? Spamghetto uses its specialized software to generate custom wallpaper patterns using the text from spam email sent by Nigerian princes and people who are incredibly concerned with the state of your sex life.

Office chair bed
One of the great things about working from home is the freedom to take naps. Back in the day when I worked traditional jobs, I would often take a trip out to my car during lunch time to catch up on a little sleep. I usually came back to work refreshed — though there were occasional times when I catastrophically overslept. At any rate, I would have loved to have one of these AnyChair seating contraptions that quickly convert into makeshift beds. Needless to say, it would be best used off the clock.

Filed under office awesome idea awesome computer gift gift ideas

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It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.

This is too awesome to not post in its entirety.

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”

Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.

The next thing I’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it’s fall, fuckers.

Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you’re going to fucking love my house. Just look where you’re walking or you’ll get KO’d by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you’re going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.

For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.

Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!

Filed under autumn awesome funny gourd gourds mutha-fuckin autumn too awesome for words timothy mcsweeney mcsweeney